Five Conversations That Build Trust — and Five That Test It

Trust isn’t created by values statements or leadership frameworks. It’s created and maintained in the conversations people have with their manager each week.

Some conversations build trust almost by their nature. They create connection, clarity and the sense that someone is genuinely paying attention. Others test trust because they touch on fairness, consistency and the leader’s ability to stay balanced under pressure.

Both matter — and the ones that test trust are often the ones that develop it most deeply.

Five conversations that build trust

🔹 Wellbeing check-ins - Short, genuine conversations about capacity and pressure show care in practice, not just in principle.

🔹 Coaching - Asking thoughtful questions and giving people space to think for themselves builds confidence and psychological safety.

🔹 Career conversations - Talking openly about aspirations and opportunities signals commitment to someone’s future — one of the strongest foundations of trust.

🔹 Ideas generation - Inviting ideas, exploring different perspectives and taking contributions seriously reinforces a sense of belonging and value.

🔹 Direction setting - Clear, consistent explanations of priorities and expectations build reliability — an essential component of trust.

These conversations create the conditions for people to feel safe, supported and engaged.

But trust isn’t only built in the positive moments. It’s tested and strengthened in the harder ones.

Five conversations that test trust

🔹 Feedback - People watch closely for fairness, clarity and whether the message matches their leader’s actions.

🔹 Holding to account - Trust falters quickly when standards aren’t followed through, or when consequences depend on who’s involved.

🔹 Conflict resolution - How a leader handles disagreement shows whether they can stay balanced when relationships feel strained.

🔹 Challenging the status quo - If leaders invite challenge but react defensively when it comes, trust erodes fast.

🔹 Pushing back - People notice whether their manager can represent them upwards and have honest conversations with peers.

These conversations matter because they show what a leader is like when something is at stake.
Handled well, they don’t just avoid harm, they build a deeper level of trust based on fairness, consistency and psychological safety.

Trust grows when leaders are consistent — not perfect.
When what they say and what they do holds together across both the easy conversations and the uncomfortable ones.

For HR and L&D, this is where the real opportunity sits.
If you build capability across this full set of conversations — not just the positive ones — you strengthen engagement, retention and performance in a way no standalone initiative can match.

If you’d like support developing these conversational capabilities across your organisation, I can help you design practical, psychologically grounded approaches that build trusted leadership at every level. Book a discovery call.