How to not accidentally hold your team back...

As a leader, it’s easy to step into the role of 'protector'.

This usually happens because you care about the person and want to avoid damaging their confidence or making them feel discouraged.

This often causes people to soften, avoid, or circle around 'difficult' messages like constructive challenge or feedback.

It feels like you’re being supportive, but actually, you’re protecting their short-term feelings at the expense of their long-term growth. Is that what you would want from your leader?

A more helpful identity in these moments can be to step into the mindset of being a developer, challenger, or best of all, "an agent for growth" - someone who treats coaching and feedback as an investment in the person’s future, not a critique of their past.

Acting from this place signals respect, belief in their potential, and a commitment to high standards. And incidentally, is a far more 'adult to adult' kind of conversation which I think we should all strive for.

Over time, this creates far more impact on confidence, competence, and career trajectory.

Before your next coaching or feedback conversation, you might find it useful to ask:

🔹 What mindset am I in — protection or development?
🔹 What message would support this person’s future, not just their comfort today?
🔹 What kind of legacy do I want to leave: one that keeps things comfortable, or one that supports real growth?